it’s now or never, february

by margie kardash

february is my birthday month, this is my birthday week and i am coming up on my birthday weekend.

i am tired of january, glad it's over, if it never comes back i will be happy.  zie gezundt.  i had a very difficult december, health wise, family wise, weather wise, and january was colder, darker, full of self fulfilling prophecies, resolutions, goals and g*d knows what else i was expected to embrace.  my friend henry david says this on the last day of january. 

in january i read the 12 secrets of highly creative women, and even though, as kath will attest, i hate crap like that, i liked the book, and it helped me.  took me a while to realize that the book was not about me changing, or me being MORE creative than my non creative self, this book was just about turning around, looking at yourself and going hello.  you can say hello nicely at yourself or you can say hellooo, as if you are saying give your head a shake.  i am more the give your head a shake type.

once on my birthday FOUR of my friends got me the same card, including kath.


twelve steps was not crap and it was also not about change. 
 it was just about recognition.

i spend a good 30 – 45 minutes a day on my hair, have since i was twelve and i doubt i am going to change now. i will always be the person making things visually perfect for myself.  this is both a bonus and an annoyance for the people that live with me but it is unlikely i am going to change that.  ask kath, when i bend over and incessantly pick dirt up off the carpet, she says to the kids, look, mommy is vacuuming, and they all laugh hysterically. 

charley needs a good hour of me time each day, that's the exercising part for me.  i do like to meditate and i do sit with charley and listen to a meditation podcast a couple of times a week.  i cook terrific stuff.  i get tired easily and i do have to rest.  i love to read.  i'm not going to change any of that.

and a year ago today, i bought my beloved camera, then i got photoshop and went to town having fun.  i love taking pictures.  it makes me SO HAPPY.  imagine, knowing that something makes you happy and you can just go do it! how good is that? hellooo?  i look at this photo of the babies and i think to myself that if i didn't know it was mine, i'd be real impressed.

Bedtime snack

i always think things happen for a reason, beshert, meant to be.  on friday night, the same FOUR fortunes popped out of our fortune cookies, one after the other.   
(my art work)

Now or never

and i decided it's now or never, february, the birthday month, i am going to lose ten pounds and THE SECOND that i do it i am going to buy me a lensbaby

i am going to stop overthinking everything and just do the crap i want to do, with the necessary stuff thrown in for good measure.  

 it's now or never and i will accomplish more if i start now.

margie xo